I'm having one of those moments
of
"do I really matter?"
A heart attack,
flashback,
the noose around my neck.
I'm underwater,
I'm in the fields,
buried 6 feet deep
beneath my tears.
I lose it all,
or give it up,
time and time again.
I try to stand,
I try to fight,
but I fall beneath the light.
I thought the change
would mend this heart,
I thought I paid my dues
and played my part.
I keep writing future stories
so I can smile through the pain,
delaying payment on the debt
till I'm here once again.
The truth is I don't know
what really comes next,
I feel like I might be insane
from this hole
in my chest.
