February 2026

Back in the saddleeverything’s different,but nothing has changed,ingrained in the membraneto go against the grain. Showing up firstwhere I’m not the outcast,sleeper cellcould get it right,I’m here to outlast. Don’t need to worry about fitting in,Don’t need to worry about where to begin,because I’m the freebird,I’m welcome here,I’m my own big birdto bring me cheer.

I used to smoke weedat least 10 times a day.Before breakfast, with my breakfast,all to the endof my dismay. I spent 4 stacksin twenty eighteenjust to get my fill,I bought more bulkfor all my fiendsand smokedthrough all the deals. Some have to bag to make a life,mine I had to save,cause life’s a strifewhen you’re…

Fading,the ghost of what was once fulfillinghaunting,slips through my fingerslike the grains of rice I could be eating. Overcommitted,yet the debts all paidand I’m repeating the painsall the same. It doesn’t give me joy no moreto give them what I needed,because what I needis changing seasons,and I know I’ve passed my torch. I trust in…

Ow,my body acheswith every quakeof earth and dustdoing what I mustto be,who you needfor what you bleed,do you know we bleed the same? My life is gone,my voice a song,that I forget to breathe. The time has passed,I rest at last,without you next to me.

No place to gothat’s simply home,the caveats always arise. Where to stayand who to be?Without the masks that held me free. Dead inside,yet so alive,free to live this life. Less is morewhen there’s no doorto block what one could see.

Disrespected by your actionsmisunderstood by your thoughts,I don’t know why I worry about youwhen I’m what I’ve got.

You don’t know how special you are.Words said to me, I say to you.Flattery, or rings of truth?The world needs youto be your best,The world needs youto clear this chest,to take a breath,to find your rest.Too much to do,too much to seethat the world needs youmore than the world needs me.

Envious of what Idon’t have for me,envious of what Ican only see.Pained to love,to care so much,Pained to lovethe pain so much.

I’m having one of those momentsof “do I really matter?”A heart attack,flashback,the noose around my neck.I’m underwater,I’m in the fields,buried 6 feet deepbeneath my tears.I lose it all,or give it up,time and time again.I try to stand,I try to fight,but I fall beneath the light.I thought the changewould mend this heart,I thought I paid my…

Terrified of what’s to come,the truth’s undone,out in the sun,my heart is weak for you. For things to clear,for you oh dear,naked Imust stand in fear. No place to go,no place but home,I’m terrifiedcause I want you there.

Contracting to solidifyboundaries strong,you know why,to shape the spacein which to grow. Expansion is excitement,addicted to the dream,a cone a cupto hold ice cream,before it meltsI scream. All this space to growneeds time to rest,a fire burningfar too hotleaves nothingfor the rest.

Mind still running,Two hundred,Sundered,Undressed, can’t stop,that missed.

I can do it,yes I can,I can do itno “no I can’t” Intimated by noveltyand net new behavior,have to wear the big boy pantswhile praying for a saviour. The melancholy wanesthe tax takes off its planes,So I can seewhat’s dear to me,and the restfeels all the same.